We are in general a race of wanters. As far as I can tell we always want. Maybe this is what makes humans king of the realm. When we lived in our little caves we weren't content with raw meat and dark nights. We wanted fire to see and cook with. We weren't happy carrying our stuff and walking so we came up with the wheel. We wanted something to pull our stuff around and to also carry us so we figured out how to make animals do it for us. And on it went. Each new thing filling a want.
We seem to want from each other the most. From "you work at a tire center? Can you get me a deal on a new set?" To "will you love me and want me forever?". Take heed, when a stranger says his main goal is to help you and make your life better. He wants something from you.
There is in my mind an exception to this. And her name is mom. She seems to be the only one who truly has your best interest in mind all the time. She is the one that runs to kitchen and starts cooking even though you've told her you're not hungry. She's the one that calls when you're sick even though all you have is a cold. And she's the one that worries about you all the time whether your 5 or 50.
You can feel like you are the worst human being on the planet but to mom your are still the greatest gift God has ever blessed her with.
She wants nothing from you but for you to be happy. Maybe some successes in your life so she has something to brag about to her friends.
I bring this up because a year and a day ago I lost my mom. And it has been harder on me than I ever thought it would be. I don't care how you think you feel about your mom when she leaves you forever it will hurt. And that hurt will come in ways you don't expect and at times that will surprise you. When you first see the ads for mothers day you will feel alone. When Christmas comes and you write your list there will be a blank spot. And with each new grandchild born your heart will fill with sadness along with joy knowing that this little child will never know the wonderful person that you call mom.
You will deal with it for deal with it you must. Life will move forward even though it may seem to be a path that is a little less clear. And adjust you will to the knowledge that never again will you see that smile or hear those words of encouragement. You will still have friends and family that love you very much but you know that your greatest cheerleader for you and your life is silent forever.
And no matter your age, young or old, you will feel like an orphan.
GOD BLESS YOU MOM. THANK-YOU FOR THE LIFE AND LOVE YOU GAVE TO ME.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
STILL HERE
Thought I gave up? Not yet. I've been spending all my spare time fixing up the casa. Looks pretty good so far no? No lie, life in general has sucked. But we keep going don't we. I still have much to say and I will try to communicate it in the near future. Don't give up on me baby. (Sucky song from the PAST)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
JEEP WHEELS EAST
Back in my little Jeep saddle again. And it took me straight to the desert via some huge high mountain. I may not be the best of drivers. I try to be a careful driver. But when the road your on suddenly climbs thousands of feet then throws in tight curves that you must get right the first time or end up thousand of feet below then I think everyone becomes a careful driver. And what was all the curves and thrills for? So that I could stand in the middle of the desert and look at these to guys plus a whole a lot of their friends. Massive pieces of steel pounded into large prehistoric animals and one friar and his dog. There they stood in silence for what may be many many years. Maybe a few hundred years from now archaeologist will dig these guys up and try to figure out why they are here. Where these the animals we used to hunt? Maybe worship? Is the man with the large piece of wood holding a type of weapon used to hunt the 
beasts? Maybe we should live long enough to find out.
beasts? Maybe we should live long enough to find out. Saturday, May 16, 2009
BARE WALLS
I guess that this has happened before but I find many of the things of my era are disappearing. I thought of this last night after watching a special on NBC about Farrah Fawcett and her battle with cancer.
This was a very touching and moving program about a brave woman who refuses to give up. Probably because most of her life has been on TV or in papers and magazines (wanted or not) she decided to tape her struggles with the disease and the various treatments needed to help her survive. I became aware of the fact that society has put Ms. Fawcett on a pedestal then did all it could to knock her off. But at the end of the day she is human just like the rest of us. And when death comes knocking we are afraid.
We often look at these celebrities as being beyond human and perfect. We often take great pleasure when we find out that they are indeed just like us. Better job perhaps, better pay to be sure but at the end of the day their tanned bodies are as frail as ours. Their weaknesses are often our weaknesses. And this thrills us no end.
I mainly bring all this up because all the way back to the last century, 1976 to be exact, Ms. Fawcett released a poster of herself that caused the world to spin a little faster. For teenage boys like myself it was THE picture of the perfect woman. Or at least what we thought was the perfect woman. All teeth and hair with proof that even famous beautiful women have nipples. This poster hung on millions of walls around the world and for a brief moment in time it made us happy and feeling a little funny you know where.
Now fast forward to 2009 and you find that that woman no longer exist. That woman is human and due to cancer that woman is frail and very very weak. Our idea of female perfection is slowly fading and may well be gone very soon. When you take the poster down you find that what's left is a human. A human in pain. A human having to deal with a relentless monster that is very hard to kill. And a human much loved by family and friends.
If Ms. Fawcett loses this battle like so many before her it will for me bring to a close another part of my past. A past with 8-track players 40cent a gallon gasoline and posters hung in a young mans bedroom. Posters of day-glo sailing ships, a cartoon man that keeps on truckin' and a picture of the perfect women. They never existed but at least now I know they never existed. It's OK though because I find this makes the world a little more accessible to us all.
Good luck Farrah and never give up.
This was a very touching and moving program about a brave woman who refuses to give up. Probably because most of her life has been on TV or in papers and magazines (wanted or not) she decided to tape her struggles with the disease and the various treatments needed to help her survive. I became aware of the fact that society has put Ms. Fawcett on a pedestal then did all it could to knock her off. But at the end of the day she is human just like the rest of us. And when death comes knocking we are afraid.
We often look at these celebrities as being beyond human and perfect. We often take great pleasure when we find out that they are indeed just like us. Better job perhaps, better pay to be sure but at the end of the day their tanned bodies are as frail as ours. Their weaknesses are often our weaknesses. And this thrills us no end.
I mainly bring all this up because all the way back to the last century, 1976 to be exact, Ms. Fawcett released a poster of herself that caused the world to spin a little faster. For teenage boys like myself it was THE picture of the perfect woman. Or at least what we thought was the perfect woman. All teeth and hair with proof that even famous beautiful women have nipples. This poster hung on millions of walls around the world and for a brief moment in time it made us happy and feeling a little funny you know where.
Now fast forward to 2009 and you find that that woman no longer exist. That woman is human and due to cancer that woman is frail and very very weak. Our idea of female perfection is slowly fading and may well be gone very soon. When you take the poster down you find that what's left is a human. A human in pain. A human having to deal with a relentless monster that is very hard to kill. And a human much loved by family and friends.
If Ms. Fawcett loses this battle like so many before her it will for me bring to a close another part of my past. A past with 8-track players 40cent a gallon gasoline and posters hung in a young mans bedroom. Posters of day-glo sailing ships, a cartoon man that keeps on truckin' and a picture of the perfect women. They never existed but at least now I know they never existed. It's OK though because I find this makes the world a little more accessible to us all.
Good luck Farrah and never give up.
Monday, April 13, 2009
ON YOUR MARK GET SET...
Another big holiday has come and gone. Happy Easter to all the non-readers. I like this holiday not just because of all the candy you can swipe from the kids while they're not looking but mainly because it seems to be about rebirth and new beginnings. We all could use a clean slate to start things again. A chance to have a redo. A fresh spring look on things.
I'm not blaming anyone, but life has been kind of a prick to me these past six months. It certainly has shown me who's boss. It's also proven that life will turn and often those turns are in directions you never wanted to go. I'll try to keep the bitching to a bare minimum because I know others have gone through far worse.
What I've done with my problems up to this point is to sit in front of the TV and watch a lot of the History Channel. Good times but not much of a life. I think for the first time I have what few have. Freedom and a couple bucks in my pocket. There where so many times when I punched a clock everyday that I would just think, man if I just had the time I would do this or I would do that. Now that I do have the time it beats me just what it was that I wanted to do. Was it to become the next Ansel Adams of my generation? Or maybe the new Ernest Hemingway of the new millennium? Was I suppose to take my extra time and cure cancer?
Got me. But I better start to figure it out. I should probably hurry because chances are that I like so many others will probably end up working at the local Wal-Mart for ten bucks an hour. Then when I'm entrenched in that fine career it will hit me and I'll remember what the great goal of my life was.
Maybe when it does come I can get a couple of days off. Meanwhile let's try to look at this day as a day with a line drawn in the sand. On the other side is our new chance at life. If not it's back to the History Channel to see what others have accomplished.
I'm not blaming anyone, but life has been kind of a prick to me these past six months. It certainly has shown me who's boss. It's also proven that life will turn and often those turns are in directions you never wanted to go. I'll try to keep the bitching to a bare minimum because I know others have gone through far worse.
What I've done with my problems up to this point is to sit in front of the TV and watch a lot of the History Channel. Good times but not much of a life. I think for the first time I have what few have. Freedom and a couple bucks in my pocket. There where so many times when I punched a clock everyday that I would just think, man if I just had the time I would do this or I would do that. Now that I do have the time it beats me just what it was that I wanted to do. Was it to become the next Ansel Adams of my generation? Or maybe the new Ernest Hemingway of the new millennium? Was I suppose to take my extra time and cure cancer?
Got me. But I better start to figure it out. I should probably hurry because chances are that I like so many others will probably end up working at the local Wal-Mart for ten bucks an hour. Then when I'm entrenched in that fine career it will hit me and I'll remember what the great goal of my life was.
Maybe when it does come I can get a couple of days off. Meanwhile let's try to look at this day as a day with a line drawn in the sand. On the other side is our new chance at life. If not it's back to the History Channel to see what others have accomplished.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
THE END MAYA BE NEAR
So I'm sitting here trying to plan out my limited future and what do I hear? That it all could be for nothing. Thanks to the Mayan calender the world will end in April 2012. No, no don't thank me. Thank the Mayans.
And I'm not talking buy your sneakers and gym suits 'cause the space train is ready to stop and pick us up kind of end. I'm talking about a culture that invented a calender far more accurate then the puny free drug store calender with cute kitty's that we all use kind of end. I'm not talking about an ending caused by our computers not being able to click over from 1999 to 2000 kind of end. I'm talking about a giant black hole that can swallow whole planets pointing right at us kind of ending. I'm talking about an ending that has scientist scratching their heads saying things like: got me! They admit that most likely something will happen they just don't know what.
Of course some may argue that what the Mayans meant was simply the end of one phase of the world and the beginning of the next. I myself think a couple of letters got knocked off and what the Mayans meant was that deep space is setting phasers to full power and they're pointed right at our ass. Let me put it this way: if this were a Star Trek episode planet earth would have a giant red uniform on.
Of course there are some positives. If the world is ending in April 2012 then buy yourself the most expensive Mercedes-Benz on the lot and defer your first payment until May 2012. Sweet deal! Or how about letting yourself gain 50 pounds a year. Then when you reach the point of your most ugliest and most unhealthful life on the big E will be over anyway. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.
The main thing to remember is that whatever happens has happened before. Evidently the end of one phase and the beginning of the next happens every 25,000 years. It's just no one remembers the last one. Good? Bad? Who can say. For all I know 25,000 years ago some old fat blogger from Atlantis was typing away saying, "what up earth? why you gotta be that way?"
Fat old blogger EZRick singing off from the lost civilization of California. Now get off my sinking rock!
And I'm not talking buy your sneakers and gym suits 'cause the space train is ready to stop and pick us up kind of end. I'm talking about a culture that invented a calender far more accurate then the puny free drug store calender with cute kitty's that we all use kind of end. I'm not talking about an ending caused by our computers not being able to click over from 1999 to 2000 kind of end. I'm talking about a giant black hole that can swallow whole planets pointing right at us kind of ending. I'm talking about an ending that has scientist scratching their heads saying things like: got me! They admit that most likely something will happen they just don't know what.
Of course some may argue that what the Mayans meant was simply the end of one phase of the world and the beginning of the next. I myself think a couple of letters got knocked off and what the Mayans meant was that deep space is setting phasers to full power and they're pointed right at our ass. Let me put it this way: if this were a Star Trek episode planet earth would have a giant red uniform on.
Of course there are some positives. If the world is ending in April 2012 then buy yourself the most expensive Mercedes-Benz on the lot and defer your first payment until May 2012. Sweet deal! Or how about letting yourself gain 50 pounds a year. Then when you reach the point of your most ugliest and most unhealthful life on the big E will be over anyway. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.
The main thing to remember is that whatever happens has happened before. Evidently the end of one phase and the beginning of the next happens every 25,000 years. It's just no one remembers the last one. Good? Bad? Who can say. For all I know 25,000 years ago some old fat blogger from Atlantis was typing away saying, "what up earth? why you gotta be that way?"
Fat old blogger EZRick singing off from the lost civilization of California. Now get off my sinking rock!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
NO SEAT BELT? CALL SWAT!
Trust me I know. All of us are either hurting for money or feel pressure to save as much as possible. I myself have been unemployed for over three months now without nary a job opportunity. Everyday more bad news gets posted on all the news services. 15,000 jobs lost there, 5,000 lost here. Where it will end no one can say. So if you have a job consider your self lucky and a breed that is becoming more and more rare.
That may be why I am so irate with the various police agencies. In my area they are pushing hard to write as many tickets as possible. To have as many cars towed to police yards as possible. They say it is in the name of public safety but I read in my local paper today that for many cities it has become a major source of income for them. Around here you will find police cars hiding behind buildings. Find them on the other side of shrubbery with radar guns peeking around the side. And the tickets they write? If your a couple miles over the speed limit you get a ticket. If your registration tag is a little past due you get a ticket. If you don't have your seat belt on you get a ticket.
In these tough times how is being a little late on your cars registration a danger to society? And no I'm not late on mine. But I can certainly understand someone who sends in his mortgage before paying for tags. The day may soon come when I have to make that same decision. It may come for you too. Is local government being understanding to this problem? Nope. It just means as more people find it almost impossible to pay for things like tags for their car the police have the opportunity to write more income producing tickets. The local cities around me often have what they call DUI checkpoints. Now we come to find out that the number of drunk drivers taken off the roads is very, very small. But the number of cars being towed due to other problems is huge. If your in a check point there is no quarter given for any violation they find against you. Your car is towed. And around here the check points seem to be set up in the poorest of neighborhoods where it's most likely to find problem cars. Of course if you do get your car towed it will cost you hundreds of dollars. If you can't afford a one hundred dollar tag chances are pretty good you can't afford a few hundred dollars to get your car out of the impound lot. Don't worry you may have a chance to buy your car back at a public auction.
That brings up a question for you. While the police are using all these resources to set up checkpoints (often involving ten or more police cars) and hiding behind bushes who's actually out there serving and protecting? Is the main goal of the police department to increase theirs and city halls bank account? Is the public now just considered fish in a pond. Just find the right lure and reel us and our check books in. The police just use that famous statement: It's for our safety and most people nod their head in agreement. Well do you really feel safer because your unemployed neighbor had his car impounded? Do you feel safer because the guy across the street has to pay a couple hundred dollars because he forgot to put on his seat belt?
Maybe it's time for police to go back to fighting crime. God bless firefighters. They don't hide behind buildings they save the building and the people in them.
That may be why I am so irate with the various police agencies. In my area they are pushing hard to write as many tickets as possible. To have as many cars towed to police yards as possible. They say it is in the name of public safety but I read in my local paper today that for many cities it has become a major source of income for them. Around here you will find police cars hiding behind buildings. Find them on the other side of shrubbery with radar guns peeking around the side. And the tickets they write? If your a couple miles over the speed limit you get a ticket. If your registration tag is a little past due you get a ticket. If you don't have your seat belt on you get a ticket.
In these tough times how is being a little late on your cars registration a danger to society? And no I'm not late on mine. But I can certainly understand someone who sends in his mortgage before paying for tags. The day may soon come when I have to make that same decision. It may come for you too. Is local government being understanding to this problem? Nope. It just means as more people find it almost impossible to pay for things like tags for their car the police have the opportunity to write more income producing tickets. The local cities around me often have what they call DUI checkpoints. Now we come to find out that the number of drunk drivers taken off the roads is very, very small. But the number of cars being towed due to other problems is huge. If your in a check point there is no quarter given for any violation they find against you. Your car is towed. And around here the check points seem to be set up in the poorest of neighborhoods where it's most likely to find problem cars. Of course if you do get your car towed it will cost you hundreds of dollars. If you can't afford a one hundred dollar tag chances are pretty good you can't afford a few hundred dollars to get your car out of the impound lot. Don't worry you may have a chance to buy your car back at a public auction.
That brings up a question for you. While the police are using all these resources to set up checkpoints (often involving ten or more police cars) and hiding behind bushes who's actually out there serving and protecting? Is the main goal of the police department to increase theirs and city halls bank account? Is the public now just considered fish in a pond. Just find the right lure and reel us and our check books in. The police just use that famous statement: It's for our safety and most people nod their head in agreement. Well do you really feel safer because your unemployed neighbor had his car impounded? Do you feel safer because the guy across the street has to pay a couple hundred dollars because he forgot to put on his seat belt?
Maybe it's time for police to go back to fighting crime. God bless firefighters. They don't hide behind buildings they save the building and the people in them.
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