Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!
A day with no presents, no special meals, no special church services. Just drink and talk funny and you have talk like a pirate day! It's rare to have something fun that a large group hasn't taken over and placed protocol into.
Well on this day as far as I know there's no special pirate turkey. No pirate tree or pirate decorations. Not even a special pirate box of chocolates. Nope, just drink and talk funny. What could be easier or more fun? In fact now that I think about it I've been celebrating Talk Like a Pirate day almost every day for years now.
Go to this site to get more details: www.talklikeapirate.com
And if you want to know the answer to all of life's question do some homework and watch Blackbeard's Ghost on tape or DVD. After seeing this film life will make more sense to you. You may even long for somethings past. Like Blackbeard says's: Your modern life seems to have gotten all puckered up.
Well let's get back to our roots for awhile and just do. And keep yer rum close at hand.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
THERE WAS A MAN FROM THE 909
I march closer to the unemployment line. My soon to be former company gave me a stack of papers to read and sign. A little like divorce papers. I wouldn't mind just signing them and handing them back except for the fact that they keep giving me constant warnings to go ahead and have my attorney review them if I like. "Now if you want your attorney to look these overs that's fine. In fact I advise you to do that". Well first off I'm just a little guy who doesn't have an attorney. I haven't needed an attorney in twenty years. To find a lawyer to just look over a bunch of papers is pretty hard. Most don't want to talk to me unless I fell off the building here at work or better yet if an ambulance ran me over. Second, I'm not a big fan of attorneys.
In fact that reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. i present it here for your reading pleasure.
Three men are driving together on a barren country road. One is a Jewish Rabbi, the other a guru from India and the third a lawyer. It's late at night and of course the car breaks down. They notice about a mile away in the middle of a field is a farmhouse. They decide to go there and ask for help. They knock on the door, the farmer answers and they explain about their car. The farmer tells them that there is a mechanic in town but that he would be closed this late at night. He tells them "if you like I can let you guys sleep here tonight then in the morning I'll drive you into town. The only problem is that I only have room for two of you. One of you will have to sleep in the barn." They thank him then try to decide who will sleep in the barn. Finally the Guru says "Since I am use to poverty I will sleep in the barn." So off he goes. In a few minutes there is a knock at the door. They open it and find the guru standing there. "I'm sorry but there is a cow in the barn. Cows are very sacred in my culture and I cannot sleep with a scared animal." The Rabbi says "fine I'll sleep in the barn." In a few minutes sure enough there is a knock at the door and it's the Rabbi. "Sorry but there's a pig in the barn. Pigs are not kosher and I cannot sleep with an animal that is not kosher." The lawyer says "alright,alright I'll sleep in the barn" and storms off. Just like before in a few minutes there's a knock at the door. They open it and it's the cow and the pig.
Man I hate my life right now.
In fact that reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. i present it here for your reading pleasure.
Three men are driving together on a barren country road. One is a Jewish Rabbi, the other a guru from India and the third a lawyer. It's late at night and of course the car breaks down. They notice about a mile away in the middle of a field is a farmhouse. They decide to go there and ask for help. They knock on the door, the farmer answers and they explain about their car. The farmer tells them that there is a mechanic in town but that he would be closed this late at night. He tells them "if you like I can let you guys sleep here tonight then in the morning I'll drive you into town. The only problem is that I only have room for two of you. One of you will have to sleep in the barn." They thank him then try to decide who will sleep in the barn. Finally the Guru says "Since I am use to poverty I will sleep in the barn." So off he goes. In a few minutes there is a knock at the door. They open it and find the guru standing there. "I'm sorry but there is a cow in the barn. Cows are very sacred in my culture and I cannot sleep with a scared animal." The Rabbi says "fine I'll sleep in the barn." In a few minutes sure enough there is a knock at the door and it's the Rabbi. "Sorry but there's a pig in the barn. Pigs are not kosher and I cannot sleep with an animal that is not kosher." The lawyer says "alright,alright I'll sleep in the barn" and storms off. Just like before in a few minutes there's a knock at the door. They open it and it's the cow and the pig.
Man I hate my life right now.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
A CHANGE IS GONNA COME
i hope all my non-readers had a wonderful holiday.
For me it has been perhaps the beginning of a whole different life. First, I may have to change the name of this blog to Fifty Plus only because as of today I can no longer count myself as part of the younger generation know as the forty-somethings. It's official I've entered my fifty's. To say I'm happy about it would mean you would first have to hide all the self hanging rope available to me. Fifty is what I never wanted to be. That's when things start to change. That's when funeral burial polices become available (50 to 85). That's when you start to get your new old looking face (man he's changed). That's when getting out of bed starts to sound like the snap, crackle, pop. What makes it worse is that my sixties are just around the corner. I'm pretty sure I was suppose go out in a blaze of glory, flying over a cliff in a Corvette not driving 35 in a Toyota in the fast lane with my left blinker on. What hell! What can you do? Pass the heroine and let's get this over with.
Next up, I've come to find out the the company I've given thirty plus years of my life to no longer wants me. True it's not me they just don't want to be in California anymore. They are so so sad and wish to help me transition to something else. Really? Last time I looked the demand for overweight fifty-year-old was not blocking any doorway. No dear non-reader any way you slice it I am unemployed. This is a wonderful time in America to be out of work. In fact I just heard on the news that the unemployment office here in California is just about bankrupt. I may not have much but you gotta admit I have timing.
Well as they say: on to the next chapter. I can't wait to come back to this blog and see what happens. But be warned. On my list of what to cut out to save money inter net service is close to the top. So if we never type this way again good luck and God bless America.
For me it has been perhaps the beginning of a whole different life. First, I may have to change the name of this blog to Fifty Plus only because as of today I can no longer count myself as part of the younger generation know as the forty-somethings. It's official I've entered my fifty's. To say I'm happy about it would mean you would first have to hide all the self hanging rope available to me. Fifty is what I never wanted to be. That's when things start to change. That's when funeral burial polices become available (50 to 85). That's when you start to get your new old looking face (man he's changed). That's when getting out of bed starts to sound like the snap, crackle, pop. What makes it worse is that my sixties are just around the corner. I'm pretty sure I was suppose go out in a blaze of glory, flying over a cliff in a Corvette not driving 35 in a Toyota in the fast lane with my left blinker on. What hell! What can you do? Pass the heroine and let's get this over with.
Next up, I've come to find out the the company I've given thirty plus years of my life to no longer wants me. True it's not me they just don't want to be in California anymore. They are so so sad and wish to help me transition to something else. Really? Last time I looked the demand for overweight fifty-year-old was not blocking any doorway. No dear non-reader any way you slice it I am unemployed. This is a wonderful time in America to be out of work. In fact I just heard on the news that the unemployment office here in California is just about bankrupt. I may not have much but you gotta admit I have timing.
Well as they say: on to the next chapter. I can't wait to come back to this blog and see what happens. But be warned. On my list of what to cut out to save money inter net service is close to the top. So if we never type this way again good luck and God bless America.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
