HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Have you finished your Christmas shopping? If not you may be too late. Unless you have the same traditions that I do. I do all my Christmas shopping on Christmas morning at 7-Eleven. Works out great. NO crowds. Plenty of free parking. And always a fine variety of soft drinks and coffee. It's so cute, all the kids gathering 'round for their holiday Slurpees. Of course for grown-ups something a little more serious. The most recent edition of the National Enquirer. Nothing like knowing who J-Lo is sleeping with for the holidays. Of course I never forget the twelve pack of beer that I hide in the garage for later. Can you say whiskey chaser roasting in Papas tummy? But seriously folks. For you I wish you no gifts. I wish you no fruit cake. I wish you only time with the ones you love. I wish you hugs from someone you don't see nearly enough. And I wish you peace and love and a tomorrow better than today. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL -- AND TO ALL STAY OFF MY LAWN!

VOTE NO

So anyway there I am driving on route 66 in the California desert when I spot a sign. It was a small sign nailed to a fence post. All it said was VOTE NO. That's it. VOTE NO. It was a very old sign and had been obviously nailed there many years ago. It didn't try to tell me what to vote no on. Just VOTE NO. This got me thinking, again. If your driving in the middle of the desert with a busted radio in you car you find you tend to think a lot. For example what if I did just vote no. No I don't want you to take another billion dollars from me in taxes. No I don't want you to force smokers to only smoke in steel incased containers and pay more money to do it (haven't we pushed smokers around enough). No I don't want to pay more money to repair roads and freeways. We're already paying extra billions in fuel taxes and DMV fees. Where the hell is all that money going. It's sure not going to the chopped up freeway that I drive. No I don't want you coming up with five thousand new laws that are suppose to protect me but only end up costing me more money in fines, fees and the loss of more personal freedom. And frankly at this point, no I don't want to vote for you when all you do is try to tell us how bad you think your challenger is, meanwhile you don't say a word on why you would be any better. I made it no secret when I started this blog that I'm aging. And aging fast. I find with age that I gain little in wisdom. Damn shame too. You'd think that at least as I got uglier and older I'd at least get smarter. But I'm afraid it isn't working that way. The thing I do have though is memory. And trust me. Everything politicians are saying now has all been said in the past. And with very little results. As always it comes down to give more money to us and we'll solve all your problems. Next the hope is we'll forget about past promises and give more money again to solve all our problems. Well Mr/Ms politician how about letting me keep my money and solve my own damn problems. So don't forget November 7th and VOTE NO. Now get the hell off my lawn!

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

Stop the world I'm starting to get a little dizzy. If only this was like a ride at Disneyland. I could get off Space Mountain and jump onto something slower like It's A Small World. Which it is. Yet day after day while we cling to this spinning rock we call home we try to come up with new ways to destroy it. Country's large and small won't be happy until they too can blow us up into a zillion tiny pieces. What good is a world that is turned into chunks of dirt the size of chocolate chips? Yet that seems to be big on the wish list of so many. If not to destroy the world than destroy as many people and things as you can. Certain "religions" strongly believe that if you don't believe as they do then you MUST DIE! No need to discuss anything. You have no right to exist. Well I have trouble knowing what's best for me let alone all the billions of people on this planet. Why can't we just leave each other alone and let one another live as they want. Don't hurt me and mine and I won't hurt you and yours. Then if you want to go around kissing trees be my guest. But don't try to force others to kiss your tree. Is this too simplistic? Maybe, but what else has worked so far? Why are we so into trying to control others? Is our life so perfect that we can force others to our trees? Evidently some religions have a God so weak that He needs all the help he can get. Evidently some have no God at all and just want to scare the world into giving their leader more fine wines and really good cigars. And more current western movies you capitalistic pigs. Please. Just leave me alone. The world is far to small for little men to try swinging huge swords. As my mom would say put that down before you put someone's eye out!!!

Up front: I am very lazy with this thing. I have had many things that I wanted to say in the past but just couldn't put the butt in the chair. Besides who would want to read the ravings of a man that is one year closer to needing Depends adult under garment protection. Who is one year closer to being able to constantly say EEHH? Who is almost able to take advantage of senior discounts and early bird specials. Who fits in no paticurlar media survey group. Except maybe HoverRound chair with new long lasting batteries. Who is one year closer to DEATH! Oh crap. Yes I just had another damn birthday. When will they stop. Why oh why do they come so quickly now. I only had two birthdays I was excited about: My eighteenth, so I could get into R rated movies without parental consent. And my twenty-first so I could drink and gamble (legally anyway). All the rest after that sucked. You know what else sucked? When all of a sudden everyone stopped asking to see my ID when I bought alcohol. "Need to see my ID?" "NO, that's alright." "NO YOU NEED TO CHECK MY ID!" "That's OK mister I can tell your over 21!" "Look you little bastard check my ID!" You know what else sucks. I just went to Las Vegas recently and what did I find to be the most exciting thing there? The hot new clubs? The new avant garde restaurants? The beautiful pools or all the hot women? Nope. Got most excited about the 42" plasma TV and the fact that this hotel had a huge bingo hall above the casino. Oh and a coupon book full of wonderful savings and free gifts. In fact I'm using my free souvenir mouse pad right now. Jeeze, just kill me right now. No wait not yet I don't have a casket discount coupon yet. Well at least I'm not the only one having a bad day. Plutos not a planet anymore. Sucker. And Europe crashed into the moon. You mean they meant to crash into the moon? Hell NASA could've done that. Meanwhile you damn kids stay off my lawn!!!

I'm not a big fan of TV news. I find most of it to be self promotion or sensationalism for ratings. I know their is much violence out there. I know bad things happen to good people. I just don't need to see it splashed in high def. On large screen TV. How one program can go from finding out make-up secrets of American Idol contestants to a father burns his children alive in his SUV is something I will never be able to grasp or want to witness. I'm not ignorant of current events. I listen to a news radio station in the morning and read the newspaper every day. They tend to just report the news without trying to make it seem like the latest must see movie that can't be missed. I know about the depressed father and his SUV. I don't know what the charred remains of the vehicle and it's contents look like. There is one good news program. It only comes on once a week, Sunday mornings. In fact it's called Sunday Morning News, or something close to that. Look for it next weekend at 7am on CBS. The fact that this type of news program only comes on once a week should be a hint at the type of news we the mass consumer of media wants. And according to mass media there is much to be afraid of. Yes be afraid, be very afraid. Coming soon to a chicken near you the FLU! How about killer ice bergs floating free and soon to smash into our coastal city's (damn global warming). Iran recruiting new suicide bombers with the promise to SEE THE WORLD. Just check the box off on where you would like to go with your little package. Well I don't eat chicken (ask my wife). I don't live on the coast (can't afford it). And I haven't been to the mid-west let alone to the middle east. If I let all of this get to me I would be curled up into a fetal position in some dark corner somewhere jumping to every sound the world made. No thank you. I'll do the best I can at living and try to squeeze another twenty or thirty years out of life. Hope I don't look too icky at an advance age. Hope I don't drool or drive 25mph on the freeway, in the fast lane. Hope I'll still be able to see the sunrise, still be able to hear the wind. There is something to be said about dying young. James Dean bumped into a telephone pole and now he will always look cool in all his photographs. Marilyn Monroe pissed off the Kennedy's and now doesn't have to worry about sneaking into a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon to give the impression of youth. She will always be young and beautiful to us. Of course on the other hand they are dead. And that will never change. Bummer. Guess you'll just have to get used to my skin sagging a little more each and every year (better make that month). Meanwhile let's try to remember that this day represents renewal. Bright warm days. Scented air of new blossoms. I know bad things are here, I know bad things are coming. But so is good. So is joy and happiness. So let's do keep the bad in mind, but maybe we could keep it a smaller part of out brain, somewhere way in the back. Then perhaps we will have more room for that and those we love and want to spend more time with.

At least I have pictures

Back from Hawaii. Just a picture with me having a drink at Duke's on Wakiki beach. Wish I didn't have to come home so soon.